Kate

so i'll update a little. today was the worst day at work for a million reasons, and i was covered in mud, clay, glaze, paint, and food. but my little fairy michaela is the cutiest thing ever. cliff talked me into taking a bath when i got home. ooooooooo best thing ever. "tranquility candles" are the best things ever. so is the book "the notebook." even though i'm not done, i can relate so much it is amazing. we will eventually have our movie day with that included and i will bawl. :-)
we were supposed to have a meeting tonight at the jcc, and then i was going out with ashley after. but we were both soooo glad they canceled it because we were exhausted. and tomorrow im working from 8:30-8:30. fun times. sunday was quite interesting with things happening that were not expected. lol. we met my cousin ellen and my great aunt jenny for a late lunch at sean patricks (one of my favorite restaurants) i havent seen ellen in almost 7 years and i swear she doesn't age, and is still a blast. it was kind of hard since my aunt reminds me so much of my grandma. so then after i was supposed to hang out with my whore krystle who i missed ever so much. we were going to go see ancherman and go to eat and some lawnfete with jena. that turned into going clubbing. haha. the best outfits ever. we were "15 for a night ::shriek::" jeremy showed up and we followed him there with some dude and then there were soo many guys from our school- dave g, nick avery and all his friends- who were so unbelievably gone. danced with all them, so fun hanging out with jena and krystle together. must be done again soon. and my whore and i need to go to a show also...
i just studied this math for like 2 hours. aren't i the dilligent student? i hope it pays off. i'm so looking foward to moving in, i just want to know who my roomate is!!! one month exactly.

So so so much has been going on lately. and it would be too hard to write about those things between cliff leaving for nyc, the scare, and cristie's crazy grad party which only leads me to say one thing- i am never drinking again.
so i will write about last night because that was simple without tons of emotions for once. the cows were reunited once again for an adventure. i have been so caught up in him leaving, i figured it would be best to get my self back into "the groove" and hang out with the old people. we went to janelles grad party after brad was scaring me by his driving, and some creepy old guy was pulling up next to me almost causing accidents. i hate driving in wales. you know something just isn't right when there are cow crossings, your ears are acting as though you're in an airplane, and you have to wait about 5 minutes to find a driveway if you want to turn around.... i miss the usual nightly route. so anyway it was nice seeing brad because that kid can make you laugh until you're crying, talking about all of the most random strange hookups, and hanging out with janelle with her sylow filled with condoms lol. so christine and i decided to leave as people were showing up and the rest of the night can be summed up with randomness such as this:
"TRANSIT!!! WOOOOO WHOOOOO!!!!!"
"What is THAT."...."an old hick"
"It's Kate. Come on you remember me!"
"She says she misses you."...."how can i miss him when i don't remember what he looks like."
"Oh my god.. that is our cue to LEAVE."
So yea today i am working. hopefully ashley is working with me. not sure about later tonight.

My aunt is downstairs. hence why i am up here typing. haven't updated in awhile, friday night was too perfect to put into words. i'm sure anyone who bothers reading this is sick of hearing that. but it's true. you know when so many little things happen to you in one night, that you just would of had to be there to understand how much it all meant. you would have to really know me to realize that it was truly perfect. you would of had to see the look on my face of complete reliaxation in the hot tub, me waking up with a "eeee," drying off wrapped up next to the fireplace, him tucking me in because i'll sleep through anything, the boots- (that song is SO about me), not used to having our own refrigerator, the rest.... well i'll just stop there. i cant believe how good you are to me. got home saturday and went out to a fancy italian place with my aunt and uncle after getting lost because of a detour coming home. sunday was christines grad party. twas fun with lots of amazing food, volleyball and i learned how to play bocheball. i admit i have no clue how to spell it so dont even start. i realized at that party that a lot has changed, for me at least, since school ended. i look at people so much differently. my eyes have just really been opened up to a lot. the past few days have been spent with cliff, my poor baby was sick... i love just snuggling up on the couch watching movies. then being PANSED on the street is always fun. god stop the cars!!!! lol.. today was just a miserable day at work. i love those kids to death, i want to take one home. I WANT ONE! but just the weather and everything else was just sucky. and cold. and muddy. and REDICULOUS is the fucking word of the day. i really have to study tonight for this math. i was planning on doing other things, but i know i'll be gone all weekend. i just seriously bawled when i put on his hoodie today. i mean i've been really good, keeping it in. but in 3 days... i just dont know what will happen. i didnt know when this all started that i'd fall so much in love, that he's the one, that he'd make me so happy...."didn't know love before lydia"... i mean it would be selfish to keep him here, i know it's the best for him. but nobody is the same here. i've just become so accoustomed to the amazing times we have together. and without that life will just seem so....empty. i mean yea i can take a plane, i can drive 7 hours, but.... i mean i know its not ending, i'm acting like it is....its just going to be so fucking hard. i can't imagine being with anyone else, so that's not even an option, even though everyone seems to insist it is. i'll just deal like i always do, i can't even talk to anyone about this because they just think it's this fling that will end, that im thinking to far into things, and that i'm lost in the moment. only thats not it at all. i think cristie's the only one that gets it. well that's probably because she knows me the best. other people have been such a....disappointment lately. if you know what i mean...

yea so its been awhile. ive basically given up on this because ive been doing so much. but its been FUN. ok so in random order these are the things i remember since the last time i updated: cliffs little party- people not leaving til like 4, me falling all over him drunk and me freaking seeing the car that was smokey, "love zone," christening the footon, diddy and amr's condom water ballons which made me think a firecracker hit the car, the perfect morning and breakfast, cristie resquing me, going to fireworks, bundling up because she cant have one drop of water hit her hair, hanging with cody and kyle- him on the roof, nigglets, work with my cute kids, seeing life of brian with cliff, the hallway, my ticket, going to orientation which i just got back from- meeting new people, kareoke, hanging with nardin girls- so crazy they go there now too, people banging on the door at all hours, thinking the window was the door.....ill stop i dont feel like writing more. but all in all its been an amazing. and i still need to FUCKING SHOWER. lol. be proud. be very proud. ive gone to only one grad party so far hahaaa.. because ive had no real urge to go to any because...theres no other way to say it then im so done with high school. but i will go to some this weekend. and friday to saturday--- IM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean come on now a hotel with a fireplace, whirlpool, and another king sized bed that we'll only use the corner of... how much better can things get?
and i did my schedule for college!!!!

today was a good day!! and im feeling very satisfied right now.. so jena came over this morning, then we went to the park. we were going to study but just too much has been going on to be left untalked about. we got to the exam..which turned out to be two of them. definately didnt know that. but it was so simple- the easiest ive ever taken. and my last one!!!! so we left there, ran some errands, ended up going to dave g's. even though he lives way the fuck out there, his house is real nice. walking upstairs was like walking into a smog so god damn smokey you could barely see. listened to their band practice- theyre really good!! want to see them at a show now. left there and got stuck behind a truck carrying hay, which got everywhere and i saved our lives by telling her to slam on the break bc we almost got in an accident. yes i rock. then went to cliffs!!! just got home, had the best time. my gifts were so uncalled for but yet the best ever. i've always wanted shorts like that!!! and the shirt is adorable. mmm ill say yet again...im so lucky to have a guy that cares this much and is always here for me. even when im impatient, pissed, and random ;-) i just love being with him, even if its for a short amount of time. it makes me GLOW! (kind of like other things that were glowing in the closet...) i just hated leaving, i cant wait until i never have to..never has a guy made me so happy.

hahaha yes i know im a dork...but i couldnt resist taking it even though i already knew the answer. and loook the people in the picture kinda look like us!! lol maybe???? mmmmmm i have to go take a shower and go to church and father day things, only i dont want to get out of this hoodie... i had the strangest dreams last night. my last exam tommorrow!!!! yay! and i got layers put in my hair! i dont know if i wrote that in here yet. eeek ill write more later

yeeaaaahhh i found a one piece bathing suit thats actually cute for work, met a cool girl there thats just like me- thats hard to find, and shes going to canisius too! and i definately realized i CANT swim, its quite humerous. i mean sure i can stay up... but thats the extent of it. you tell me to do things with my legs and arms in SOME sort of rhythm?? no NOT HAPPENING! haha so cristie and i spent $38 together at spencers today. our boys shall be happy- o i know i am! except for things beyond my control...which i wont get into because i dont want to get upset again. but it WILL all work out. because something this good just cant end. it doesnt work that way! and im looking foward to so many things...

K	Kind
A	Amazing
T	Timeless
E	Exquisite
V	Vain
O	Orderly
S	Shaggy
S	Serious

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
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so tell me, is it me?

ok so YES i am home. not by choice, i am sick. its my allergies, sinuses whatever you call them. and theyve never been this BAD! the night before i didnt get any sleep. finally got up at 6:30- no lie bawling because it felt like there were nails going into my ears and i couldnt breathe. ive tried 3 different meds, clariton worked, then stopped working. i couldnt see straight this morning, couldnt be in light, my head POUNDING, lost my voice. so my fucking art teacher calls at 10:00 this morning, woke me up, asking my grandpa where i was because she wanted that picture. ok no way am i bringing it in today. people need to chill. im not calling her back till later... then cristie texted me 5 seconds later saying we're having our fitting for our dresses today. which yea i definately forgot about and i cant miss. my nose is so red, i just hope this gets better, because i cant deal with another day like this. i hope you all enjoyed that bitching, but i needed to. but lets backtrack to saturday...because that was one of those perfect days. cliff and i went out to dinner to the roadhouse, i LOVE that place and their sweet potatoes. yum. we got a table right away after i talked to the server, the whole time not being able to remember her name until she was gone. mary..margaret..marissa..lol no. kristen. ex's being called to be seated, haha oh god. it was just so nice though, even being carried to the car, being so happy- squeaking, forgetting how to drive...you know youre being a blonde when you keep being told "its ok, you're pretty." then seeing my old house- it looking so tiny and different, going to the park where i used to cheerlead back in the day- yes me of all people, the "damn mother," walking around, arm in arm (yaaaay i like it! i do!!), taking pictures- which turned out adorable, me running at squirrels. ok so i had a lot of energy. then going to see troy- woah we got through a whole movie! it was good but it kinda dragged, so i climbed onto his lap. im so comfortable with him. but yea the whole day was amazing. then the handprint in the back of the car and the fireworks which scared me. so i still have to figure out where im getting a boutineer, maybe ill get it today after we get our dresses fitted. ick all i want to do is just curl up and go to sleep. but when i lay down, i feel worse. but moving up day in FOUR DAYS! prom in FOUR DAYS!!

im not sure where to start or what to start writing about, im in a weird mood. kind of in a little daze, not sure why. i also havent written that much because i feel as though i cant just say anything on here, i trust very few people who read this. because people can't seem to relate with feelings i have, so quick to judge, so quick to find wrong in decisions. and you know what is so incredibly great, i will be out of here! nothing any of you think of me will matter! thats why things havent been getting to me. im looking foward to prom ::gasp:: but i dont want to write about that only because i feel as though OUR night. and im just happy right now, and i dont want anything to spoil it. i guess im afraid things have been going so perfect, that something big will happen that will throw it all in my face. but somehow i know that WONT happen. things will be so different next year, im looking foward to it all more then you know. i will have freedom to do what i please, live on my own, go spend NIGHTS at cliffs if id like, meet new people (you all know how much i love that), party it up, not have to justify any decision. life will finally be completely what i make of it. o i so just got a bug bite on my thumb. attempting to play golf in gym was amusing... i definately made the grass fly. yes cristie and i will definately have to go around on the carts and play. haha. and yay shes getting her windows TINTED! BLACK!! and im going with her to get our hair done, such excitement. i dont know what id do without a friend like her to rely on. and theres 7 school days left. the things left to do: the oidepus painting, the vietnam and psych projects, the art day with the cookout (same day as snr skip day), trying to get that campout to happen, figuring out a definate job, graduation- where we sing :-), the summer of grad parties! i just hope this summer will be... everything i want it to be, and i wont feel i dont know...isolated. if i had my way though, id spend the whole summer with cliff, its all i would want to do. i dont care if it sounds obsessive, or wishful thinking. i like spending time with him more than anyone. he makes me happy. i like it, i do! hehe

so ive been a busy girl, not much time to update. i am insanely happy right now, just got back from cliffs, what else would make me INSANELY HAPPY??? lol. the best day....nyea, not going to try to put it all in words....maybe later but right now i feel like im gunna pass OOOOOUT!!! time for beddie bi!

so i had the best weekend ever, and havent even had time to update about it. and right now i should be starting one of my two papers/projects. but am i? nooo. so the highlights...saturday: got to cliffs, walk right in of course as he's eating the omlet i told him how to make :-) looking so cute in his hat. i got to meet tony finally after hearing so much about him, and then a ton of other people- amr again, all the girlfriends, other peoples whose names i dont remember..a couple of julias lol. then cliff had to help amr move the furniture. funny to come in after a bouge to open the door and have a couch looking as if it was falling on top of you. but it was actually stuck. think friends episode. so after watching a few furniture being thrown out a window... haha and talking to my cow, having a beer that had the perfect caption, he took a shower and got out.... .... i love closets, towels, and wet hair. so then we HAD to leave. walked a couple blocks downtown to amys place. and ordered the famous margie meal. i so wish i hadnt later, but it was really good while i ate it. i loved walking down the street with him, ok so i might have been looking at us in windows ;-) we had to stop at wilson farms so we'd BOTH smell pretty. haha. then i got to see a little of the ub campus, and their ghetto bathrooms. and then we went on the TRAIN!!!! ive never been on it before!!!! i was seriously like a little kid. all hanging on to him, and looking at everything. then we walked down to chippawa (no clue how to spell) to go to spot. and i was told where all the good bars were, i stared at the scary old ladies who still thought they were 18, i got a mint iced tea, he stared at the people playing chess, i actually learned how to work my camera phone, and thats when i started feeling sick... i think i was allergic to whatever was in that margie meal. possibly the blue cheese sauce. because i started getting HORRIBLE stomach pains. almost blacked out. seriously had to sit down on the side of the sidewalk because i got so dizzy. and he was such a sweetheart. holding me, so worried, making sure i was ok, taking be back to spot on the couches, giving me massages, holding my hand. not letting me stand up until he was sure i was ok. so then after i felt a little better, we look outside and it is a monsoon. like pouring doesnt even discribe. it was insane, ive never been out in rain like that. lol so of COURSE i love running in the rain. and i grabbed his hand and rain out, ran all the way down the street to the contiental. it was crazy, contacts almost falling out. COMPLETELY drenched, hair dripping, clothes soaked. but it was really...hot. haha. so finally get in there, standing listening to bands with his arms around me. having some guy from tv following us around wanting us to be on camera storming the stage. kept making comments how it looked like we were lost in the moment. ha creepy guy. and i did NOT want to be on tv. i got to wear cliffs fsf track jacket!, then i started to feel sick again, the bands were really good, we left after a few songs of the last conservative. he got a hat for us to share.. wow im writing a lot. so anyway we walked back to the train stop after seeing all the girls walking to go clubbing. whores. haha. dont worry i wont DRAG you clubbing. he gave me his brooklyn t shirt because i was soaked, sooo nice. and he made it look hot and girlie. took the train back. being carried over muddy grass, only to walk into a huge mud puddle. got back and... the most amazing night which only the two of us will know about... my livejournal picture was taken then. :-) three hours of sleep. we got cereal (in his boxers and t shirt of course, i swear i wore more of his clothes the whole time then mine) watched the clerks. and then i had to leave at like 9:30 to go to church :-/ i miss him.
yesterday we went on the field trip to the drunk driving thing. i got to drive this course and only hit one cone, i thought id do so bad, haha jake hit like 6. got to wear beer googles, i was such a dumb ass, almost hit czuba in the face trying to give him a high five. wooow. kelly was the best though. then we had the concert choir banquet after- suuuuch good food. yuuuum. and i just got back from the mall with christine and erica. we went to the wrong mall so no pigion man! we now want a blow up shoe, looking at all the things at spencers, a miles look-a-like. me NEEDING some blinders, getting cliff something cute, victoria secret, erica and i needing to walk away from christine...lol, looked at some garders, i had a peach sundae gumball that really tasted like one even though cow said it tasted like gum. talking in the car, erica sleeping and then her piping up to say "I WANT a fuck-buddy!" haha i love classic randomness like that. me telling my cow far too much on the ride home. the quote of the week "chrisTINE i was BLINDED!!"

lets see update..i had my interview for tri-town the day before yesterday. which went really good, they seemed like sweethearts, i really hope i get the job. yesterday was amazing. because i got to see my baby! got there about 5, i wont write about it ALL.. he looked so adorable sitting on the couch, not even knowing i was there. i feel so comfortable there its unbelievable, as if i live there myself or something. i could not let go of him, him carrying me around on his back, kissing in kitchen, bouncing on bed because i was so happy and had so much energy, the closet.., bogue outside sitting on top of hot car (i still say we have to do what i suggested, its GOING TO HAPPEN, i dont care who is around!), lying in bed together is the best feeling in the world (no pictures got knocken over this time hehe), diddy yelling things at the door ha that poor kid hears too much, stuffed animals being corrupted, not letting me leave, completely teasing!!! o but trust me i didnt want to, i wanted to stay all night. well then i had second thoughts about that when certain roomates were trying to do certain things with their fingers in places where it should not be done!!! wooow. on MY boy none the less, only i can do that. but i just chose not to. so i was still "glowing" all day today. cristie and i decided to leave 5th because everywhere was closed. and brad came with us after "::giggle:: you guys are LEAVING?!!" as mr c is right there. nice. her new car is so sweet, the bass especially (yes i will say its amazing even though i DESPISE who put it in), i had to sit with my legs up and shoes off in order to fit in the back. quite humerous trying to get out of it. went to east aurora. because where else is there to go in this hick town? haha the car wash and tops. where all the cool kids go when they skip. then the ice cream sundae party. yum. cookie dough- havent had in SO long. then went with cristie to go get her dress, and then went with her to have it altered. haha had to hand her bra to her.. came back here and had a nice talk. as she flipped over the pocostamus. so im getting my dress altered at the same place at 7 tonight, then going over to cristies where i get to see taylor!!! yayy!! i havent seen her in how long? ooo and i won first place at the art competition. and i get MONEY! yeeeesssss!! excitement. i started the painting of oidepus and the spinx. looks so good, im so glad i go against what art teachers tell me. so yea have to go do the dishes... baby i hope you feel better <3

i love how that no matter what happens, no matter what doesnt go the way i planned- cliff is there to make me feel better, and to calm me down. so obviously the one thing that didnt go the way i planned is me being here and him being there. but i woke up this morning after sleeping 13 hours, i cant remember the last time i slept that much, but i needed it. and i went to a wedding my brother was serving at. i havent been to one in 10 years but it kind of put everything in perspective. and then i went to andersons and got a salad and a cinamon milkshake- my favorite kind. and then shopping where i found the cutiest jeans marked down to 13 and a pink shirt... you would think that would put me in the best mood but it didnt bc i still miss cliff. but im more chill now then anything. learning not to worry about things, and not to plan things. and then get disappointed. i did learn that, i just had forgotten. i cried this week so much, and a lot of it of course has to do with the overwhelming amounts of ESTROGEN- yes girls you know what im talking about. but so many things have been fucked up. most resolved. some not. and of course explaining 61 miles to my mom, i should make that a song or something. but you know baby you're right, its all worth it. You're worth it. i have my interview monday- i want that job more then you know. *crosses fingers* i actually have time to watch a movie or something ::gasps:: i dont know whens the last time i sat through a whole movie ;-) i would rather not, but yah know might as well try it. i have enough of them i havent seen yet. iiiiits coooold. i need to snuggle in my blue blankie....still have this song stuck in my head "in daylights- in sunsets, in midnights- in cups of coffee, in inches- in miles, in laughter- in strife." ok enough rambling. <3

::sigh:: i dont know why life is treating me so good, but i wont question it. so i just woke up. and im sitting here drinking earl gray/green tea, and i just finished bbq ribs :-) so i suppose i should expand on what i wrote yesterday.. haha. well how to put it into words... this weekend was amazing, more fun then ive had in so long. and it was all because it was with cliff. i got there yesterday around noon, after missing him so damn much, never so happy to see anyone. we made lunch, as diddy was impatient ha that kid's funny, glad he approves ;-) we tried to watch kill bill, well i didnt see all of it. but i think that movie is overated. we were ubelievable good, for the most part. thats around the time i was first wearing his hoodie and superman boxers that had to be tied around me... well they're comfy!! decided to walk out in the rain and he showed me around his town. i still say it is GHETTO, i dont care what you say. but it was so nice walking with him, my hands in his pockets, his arm around me. i seriously could not let him go, there was barely a time the whole time i was there that we let each other go. im just so drawn to everything about him, how he makes me laugh, how im so comfortable, how i can tell him the most random things, how he really cares. damn im getting sappy again! ok so we missed the movie at 7... and at 9. lol but we did go out to dinner at pizza plant. mmmmm sooo good. that pod was YUMMY. and he so underestimated how much i eat. "fat girl at heart"-no..! so we went back home, watched some of the phonebooth- i think thats what its called?- with diddy. good movie. then watched saturday night live (that secretary of the state thing... SO GREAT!) with diddy and tina. they both seem so nice, and the kind of people who would be crazy to party with. now i understand all those stories! so we went to bed.... ummm yea... Oh my god. i think the picture frame woke everyone up... but we did sleep! about 4 hours. love waking up next to him, breathing him in. the most amazing feeling in the WORLD. i didnt want to leave. i wanted to stay there forever.. i know that sounds corny, i dont care. so i get in the car this morning, and what song just starts playing right when i turn it on- the reason! im going to be one of those girls who has her boyfriend on her mind constantly. and i couldnt stand those girls...ha. so ben and i are going to prom together as friends, which makes me happy! we'll have fun. and that way it works going in amandas limo... bc jena wanted me to go in hers. and be set up with one of her friends. but id feel weird doing that, so its good because im already so comfortable with ben. yea friday was fun haha we only went to one class. and then jena and i went to subway...helped her finish her concentration there.. then around east aurora, then went back to school and met up with vinny and mike and brad (who i realized used to be in my kindergarden class) and went with them back to ea and to burger king. then we sped back for the art exam, i dont know how we got back in time. mrs russell was grating on everyones nerves. but i felt so... almost sad when i finally closed up my portfolio. because it finally hit me high schools over, because art has had SUCH an impact on me. ap psych exam tuesday, what a JOKE.

im in cliffs arms right now and in his hoodie and boxers and im, soooo happy!!!!!!!

FIRST OF ALL simon and garfunkel in the backround which makes me happy. you know what else makes me happy??????!!!!! i fucking aced that ap english exam!!! yes damn straight. i loved the first passage, i actually got into it- talking about if immortality did exsist then the population would be split between two groups of people, the nows and laters. the ones who sit back and are like o i have my whole life to worry about things, and they just enjoy. and the ones who are constantly on the go and want to see as much as possible and always looking at their watch (but if immortality exsisted, then time wouldnt really exsist, but then time doesnt really exsist now because life is a never ending cycle. ok ill stop) but then if there was immortality youd ask your mother for advice, shed ask her mother. it would go on and on and nobody would be left with their own opinion nor with any independence. then you would get so pissed at your relatives that youd commit suicide. so who knew i was going to reiterate that whole thing but it was interesting, and now i want to read the whole book wherever it is. then i totally rocked on the essay questions. for the free response i did inherit the wind and made up the question of: should man
question societies right to think? and then went into this whole debate over fundamentalist verus idealists. and i ended up of course on drummond's side. but i will be so happy if its a 5. which i think it is. that would be amazing. today was such a good day because it even started off this morning with mrs russell saying that i got an honorable mention at that huge contest. then mr gelsinger said i could do a huge painting on canvas for the project. and THEN i got home to the sweetest email from cliff. thank you babe!! it meant a lot.. i cant wait to see him. and i love how i can talk to him for hours, and still miss him five seconds later.

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TONY! hope you have a fun day!

Your Love Situation by Amberishjewel
Username?
Your Love Is...	Rough
During Lovemaking You Act...	Like a volcano, hot & steamy
Your Partner Is...	Your support
Your Partner Has Said That You...	Are their best friend
Your Love is Summed Up In A Quote.	"One must know how to seduce"
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

hmmm...
i refuse to be overdramatic, but this is whats going through my mind right now- its like i have to remind myself to breathe. feeling stressed because of these stupid exams im studying for, the drama associated with prom and not knowing what im doing about that. and my dress hanging on my door looking gorgeous... this is why i never looked foward to that. i hate planning things. i despise it. i like things that are spontaneous!! who knew that the end of senior year when we're all supposed to be having fun would result in so much not needed drama. and i know its worthless to even worry about these things since itll all be over very soon. everyone seems to be going about all this so wrong. we should be enjoying it. and im getting caught up in people doing the opposite. i think things should always stay easy going, and everyone should go through life like theyre on a wonderful high. and while im wishing for things... i wish i were with cliff right now.

i have to write something about yesterday because it was that amazing. first of all me not getting lost driving downtown by myself is such an accomplishment. so i walk out of the car, as its pouring and just immediately run into cliffs arms. i cant put this all into words how i feel as though ive known him forever. just so comfortable with him, more so then guys ive dated for weeks even. just the way he looks at me, the way we laugh at all the same things- including mr bean haha, how he says fuck you in that brookland accent that makes me MELT. alright so what im thinking is if it feels this perfect the first time we hang out, then whats it going to feel like later.. the cute little things he said the whole time is what sticks out so much. and how i was swimming in his coat but i felt so safe and happy, thats the big thing-how i felt the whole time. complete and total happiness. i didnt want to leave either. i had to no kidding drag myself. and oh god his roomates comment was too funny.. so i drove home feeling like nothing could go wrong because i finally found something so right.

and then i got home. and had a little chat with my parents. who are not to happy about how hes older. but seriously, age has no bearing to me. and then to have jimmy point out valid points. so obviously i was so torn last night. and then i read his email. and i think, ok so kate what you need to do is follow your heart and let things run their course. because yah know i believe stuff is fated and all that, and its not coincidence that i started talking to him, we have everything in common (accept how i despise spongebob lol), and i feel so comfortable. so yea ill be careful, but i have no clue how this will turn out. and thats kind of the part thats intrigues me enough to not ignore him.
and i know youll all thinking this post is so un-kate like. im not the sentimental type. shit happens. so yea today was absolute craziness because of ms russell screwing up how she took our slides, having to stay in the art room ALL DAY. accept for going to one class, jena kept me sane about it all. bc if that girl could finish like 7 pieces, then all of us will be fine. ben and i had a nice talk in "english" really the two of us being in the cmp lab because we werent aloud in the class. but its nice to know someones in the same boat as me about certain things. but what am i saying, when is ben not? ha

so yesterday went out to lunch with my grandpa which was nice, finished my LAST art project which kinda looks like im tripping on acid but i really like it, studied for the english exam, then christine lost her keys lol... so i went and picked her up to go to the back to the future "dance" we arrived just as mr c and mrs obershimer were doing their skit. i stopped dead and was like omg... is that mr c... it was so GREAT! hahaha. i will go along with jamie and say that heather was CONFUSED. the darkness rendition was funny, but john as danny and steve as sandy from grease- o god i have NEVER laughed so hard. i agree that it beats out any snl skit ever including steve martin dancing with gilda radner. it was just pure hilarousness. the parent skit was funny at parts such as the pda, mrs vogel was great, getting soaked with silly string, the chipmunk choir. a lot of parts were lame and i was like hm ok..??? the senior video wasnt as good as i thought it would be because it went to fast, the pics were cutting some peoples heads off and a lot of pix didnt get put in but it was still cute. and awww some guys were so adorable as babies. and it was weird that you knew exactly who they were too. then everyone started bawling, including some guys. and i was like um... yea... haha my mom was the same. didnt cry at all. and everyone was like why isnt your mom in the skit?!! i loved amandas comment "you should just take everyone off the stage and have your mom up there in her little cute voice saying "im kates mom!" ha i love my mommy. mmm i just had a crandberry orange muffin she got me, SO GOOD. one of the best flavors ever. going to see cliff today-finally, shall be fun!!